16-year-old quits photography class after his parents force his 14-year-old sister and 12-year-old brother to join it too: 'I'm not allowed to do anything with friends or go anywhere without my siblings'

Author image for Emmy Pratt
Emmy Pratt • Writer and Editor
Sep 17, 2025 8:00 AM EDT

It's very common for siblings to do the same extracurricular activity together. Parents don't want to have to drive one kid to soccer practice and another kid to basketball on the same night when they're on opposite sides of town, so they might just stick both kids in the same sport because it's easier. It's also not uncommon for siblings to have similar interests. My sister and I did theater at the same community theatre for 7 years, not because it was more convenient for our mom, but because we both genuinely wanted to do it. Sometimes, silbings are just similar.

Siblings shouldn't be punished for being dissimilar. If one sister wants to pursue dance and the other hockey, parents should do everything in their power to make that happen, rather than favoring one sibling's desires over the other. If they can't afford it, that's one thing, but treating their kids as equally as possible is imperative. 

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  • The parents in this story seem to only care about their two youngest children. Their older son wants the opportunity to do some things outside of the family once in a while. He wants to hang out with his friends and participate in extracurricular activities without his siblings, but his parents won't allow it.

  • Man in red and black crew neck t-shirt holding black nikon dslr camera
    via Daniil Onischenko

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • Am I the bad guy for quitting another extra curricular because it was another one I couldn't do without my siblings?

    I (16m) have a younger sister (14f) and brother (12m) and they're both on the au sm spectrum. My parents think we're not closer because of that and because I'm ablest but it's just that I don't want everything to be something we do together. My parents are
    via u/Josynauyy
  • big on that. They always say family comes first and whether you've already made plans with someone else or not doesn't matter. You break any pre- existing plan for your family and it doesn't matter who else you have plans with or what that plan is. That's something they've forced our whole lives.
    via u/Josynauyy
  • There were birthday parties they RSVP'd yes for on my behalf and then didn't even let the other parents know and made me stay and spend time with the family. They took my phone off me before because I wanted to tell friends I couldn't meet up with them when I was supposed to be heading to them because my mom or dad decided we needed a family day or a sibling day.
    via u/Josynauyy
  • Other times they said I could have friends over and sent them away even if they didn't have anyone to pick them up because my parents suddenly decided I just needed to spend time with my siblings or the family. It made me lose friends because their parents would be like f that kid and his family.
    via u/Josynauyy
  • Because my siblings are on the spectrum my parents take them having outlets that they enjoy very seriously. My sister has piano and violin lessons and my brother takes drawing and painting. classes. My parents spend a
    via u/Josynauyy
  • A person plays the piano in an indoor setting
    via Declan Sun

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • Brother and sister doing homework together
    via Getty Images (Unsplash+)

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • fortune on those because they need that. I never got the same. If my parents had to pay for it I needed to do it with my siblings. They might not tell me that at the start but it happened that way always.
    via u/Josynauyy
  • I tried boxing when I was younger and my brother even though he was WAY too young and not supposed to be in the same group as me, was brought along and dropped off with me so I quit. When I tried swimming my sister was brought along and she was put in a different group but my parents would bring her during my groups time anyway
    via u/Josynauyy
  • and told them she was there so she'd need to be allowed to swim. She never got to join the same group as me but she was there every time and my dad fussed about us doing it together so I quit that. I didn't ask them to pay for more activities for me.
    via u/Josynauyy
  • I tried talking to my parents but they got mad at me for not wanting my siblings involved. They said it goes against everything we believe as a family and I should want to include them in everything and it's wrong for me to throw stuff away because I'm trying to be anti- social to my siblings.
    via u/Josynauyy
  • My friend told me his family went to the community center and they had free activities of different kinds. None of it was as professionally run as the paid stuff but I wanted to have my own thing. I tried photography but my parents got my brother to go and a few weeks ago I tried cooking but my parents decided both my siblings needed to join in. I quit again and it ped my
    via u/Josynauyy
  • parents off. They said it looked bad being 16 and sticking with nothing and having no extra curricular's and how it would close a lot of college doors. I told them I didn't care because I wanted something for me, not for me to spend time with a sibling. They told me that I was unreasonable and how people would kill to have a family like mine. They told me I was being a
    via u/Josynauyy
  • bu y and my siblings would think I hate them. I said I didn't care what they all thought. I said if they can have their own things that are just for them then I should get it too. I told them I was done trying because nothing would ever be for me.
    via u/Josynauyy
  • My parents got mad at my attitude toward my siblings and doing stuff with them so I told them to kick me out because that sounded better than this. Now I'm not allowed to do anything with friends or go anywhere without my siblings or my whole family and they said it's because I'm being a brat and a hurtful brat and that it makes it worse.
    via u/Josynauyy
  • BrewDogDrinker Two years from now... Parents "Why doesn't OP speak to us or come visit anymore?" Do you have any relatives that you could live with or advocate for you?
    via u/BrewDogDrinker
  • CutieEv Might have to start thinking about a safe relative or family friend to stay with if this keeps up.
    via u/CutieEv
  • KaetzenOrkester Or a safe relative to handle college admissions mail (do they still send things by post?) because the OP's siblings won't be able to go, so he won't be able to
    via u/KaetzenOrkester
  • IAteAnother Vegan what are your parents planning for when you start dating? no one wants to spend all their time with family, spectrum or not. NTA!
    via u/IAteAnotherVegan
  • CareyAHHH Reminds me of the reddit post I recently read of the twin who was forced to do everything with her twin sister. It was also a case of the other twin getting to choose extracurricular activities, but the OP was not. In that case, the other twin had a breakdown when OP moved out at 18. How much worse is it going to be for this OP? Two siblings and the parents aren't going to know how to cope.
    via u/CareyAHHH
  • Josynauyy OP I won't be allowed to date while I live with my parents.
    via u/Josynauyy
  • Sharticus123 NTA. Your parents seem like real . While you should appreciate your siblings that doesn't mean you should have to share everything with them. You should be able to do things on your own.
    via u/Sharticus123
  • ZyntralMee Absolutely this. Appreciating your siblings doesn't mean erasing yourself—everyone needs space to grow their own interests and parents should respect that...
    via u/ZyntralMee
  • TheDreadPirateJenny Op should look into joining school extra- curriculars. There are a lot of options that don't cost a ton of money. Theater - There are tons of off-stage things to do if you aren't a performer. Getting experience with set painting, stage managing, or working the sound and light boards are all things that can translate to real-world jobs, too. A lot of colleges offer smaller scholarships for theater and music, too.
    via u/TheDreadPirateJenny
  • Key Club - it's a service based organization that colleges love to see on your application. You get to do a lot of things outside of school hours to help your community, and it's only for the enrolled members. There are colleges that have service based tuition scholarships, where you perform "X" number of service hours a week and your tuition is fully covered, and Key Club membership is really helpful to get into those programs, too.
    via u/TheDreadPirateJenny
  • DECA - a great option if you are interested in finance, marketing or business management. They do a lot of external and after-school events, too. Academic clubs like Speech/Debate, Mathletes (or whatever the equivalent is now), etc. These are also things that take place outside of school hours, siblings can't join in with, and can really help improve your college prospects. And I would strictly apply to schools that are a few hours away if I were OP.
    via u/TheDreadPirateJenny

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parents of teens family drama class photography extraciricular teenager brother classes teenagers siblings bad parenting bad parents raising teens family sister parents
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